Well...Wasn't My First Choice For a Blog Title...

So I've launched yet another blog, as you've probably already figured out by now. This is my second attempt to launch this third blog because the first attempt fell victim to my computer's virus. I'd thought that Blogger was autosaving my blog as I went along...only to discover when I logged back in to check just now that it hadn't been saving it after all. (Okay...I have to ammend that as you will note there's another post under this one. That's the one I thought hadn't been autosaved. It had been after all. Right now, the post just sorta ends abruptly. That was thanks to my virus. But it makes for a good first post.)

I should probably clarify the title of this post. I originally thought it would be cute/clever/catchy whathaveyou to call my newest blog Man Bites Blog. Short, simple and easy to remember and all of that. Of course, it was apparently too clever or whatever because someone already beat me to the name so I couldn't use it. Which was a bit of a bummer, since I'm basically launching this blog to help me chronicle my weight loss efforts and the title seemed like it would be a good fit for that particular theme. My first site's theme is, of course, cool shoes. My second site's theme is that it doesn't really have a theme and it's mostly there as a repository for random rants. ;-) Or any other such brain dumps (or as George Carlin called them, Brain Droppings).

Blog-Along Cassidy is of course a reference to the old movie cowboy Hopalong Cassidy. Luckily for me, no one else had thought of Blog-Along Cassidy. Yet.

So...with regard to losing weight, or at least trying to: for the record, I am not on a DIET per se, as I feel like for me diets don't work. Or maybe I should say, I feel like I've been less successful than I would have liked to be on a more formal/official diet in the past. Basically, I'm trying to just watch what I eat, be cautious about my choices and try to make wise and hopefully healthier eating choices. I'm not counting calories or any of that other stuff. I am trying to monitor and limit where possible my fat intake. Trying to eat foods that have little to preferably no fat whenever possible. Outside of that, trying to eat better foods like more fruits and veggies and ideally little or no crap.

That's it. I'm not consciously eating less, or trying to eat less. I'm just trying to consume food in a more thoughtful fashion. I have lost a few pounds, but I'm not entirely sure how much weight I actually have lost. I know I still have a very long way to go to get where I'm hopefully heading. Don't have a goal just yet...but in the back of my mind I try to keep a couple things in mind while I'm eating. I want to get below 300 lbs., first and foremost. I'd like to be able to see my feet without having to bend over. I'd like not to be able to grab a slab of fat when I'm sitting down. And...probably most important of all: I want to see a sparkle in my fiance's eyes again when she looks at me. I've seen it before and I remember what it was like and I want to see it again.

Do I want to be healthier? Sure. Who doesn't? Do I think I am or could become a role model for anyone else trying to lose weight? Um, no. Not really. I want this for me and I don't have any ego requirements that include trying to proselytize to others about weight loss and about my own experiences. I think it's great if someone wants to carry that particular torch. Personally, I don't wish to. I only have to prove to myself I can do it. Well, and my fiance.

Hopefully it will be something of an interesting journey. We'll have to see. Check back from time to time and see how it's going.

I don't know that I'd be a good role model in this weight loss attempt because I've not lost all the weight I want to lose yet, for one thing. For another, what works for me might or might not work for the next person who feels like they want to follow my blueprint or whatever. I've also been less than successful at losing the weight and keeping it off far too many times travelling this road to try to lead anyone's parade.

I'm still trying to address my own weight and self-image issues, too, in all of this. The reasons behind why I am overweight and so forth. I feel like I have to address those before I'll be able to lose all the weight I want and not back slide or whatever. Truth is, I'm a food addict. I like to eat. I hate feeling hungry.

So...at age 49, this is not an easy process to go through. I want to go through all of it though. I don't want to do one of those bypass surgeries because I feel like for me it would feel like cheating. Mostly myself. I just need to go through the whole process and not skip any steps along the way...because I feel like for me, the road to long-term success has to come not just from making better eating choices for myself, but making better assessments of my self-esteem and self worth and all of that. I have to deal with the whole eating to fill the emotional holes thing, too...or any weight loss will be short-lived. At least I think it will be so for me.